The war

It engulfs you, your whole self. From top to toe. You cant see nor can you breathe. The air is thick and dark. When you move its hard, your brain is playing over and over again things that would have not meant the world a day or two ago. The future is something that scares you. The past haunts you.

What can you do? Who can you turn to when no one has defended you, loved you or was there for you? Who will be there to hold your hand to walk this path that you did not choose? How do one fight this demon who has you immobilised? 

This dark demon makes you want to seek solace in your room. Sleep the one place where it has no control over and yet it has ways to stop you getting there. The noise in your head like a broken record. It does not stop even for a second.

You try to breathe but the air is thick and heavy. You have no where to run to even if you wanted you cant as you are paralysed. Stuck to where you are standing. The darkness hold you tight in its arms. Not wanting to let you go, an obsessed lover of sort. 

There is nothing much you can do but to seek solace in the space that give you comfort. There is no going out or snapping out of it. Its grip on you is strong where no magic in this world could rid of this curse. 

Inside of you is a voice trapped as you see what you have become. A surreal being living like a zombie. It shouts to break free but it cant. Its trapped. You know this is not you and yet you are helpless as the grip tightens when you fight to break free. You are no longer you. 

Does the world see you? Maybe yes maybe no. Can it help you? To some extent yes. For those who has people who cares and sees the state you are in its just as hopeless for them for nothing said or done will rid you of the darkness that has surrounded you. They too end up in a state of despair. Not able or knowing what to do.

In your room or the little corner that you have chosen comfort. You lay there, wishing and praying for relief. Death comes to mind but the trapped voice screams no. There is hope! Or is it? There is a way out but where is it? There is no neon light pointing to the exit in case of an emergency.

So there you lie, fighting this demon. Some days you win a step while other days you loose the battle. Its the war that has to be won and strength within is something that has to be mustered. Do you have it in you? 

This battle is a battle that many fight and yet no one really knows what its like unless they have fought it themselves.